Dynamics of building self-esteem in children

       January 1, 0000    1854

 

One of the main things that a person should have in order to become successful and to lead a long and happy life is to have a full trust in himself and his capabilities. Loving yourself enough to know your limitations and your strengths is one of the ingredients in leading a life of contentment.

There is really no sure answer as to how and where self-esteem springs from. Some psychologists say that it is the function of the personality that has been acquired from both parents. Parents who have high self-esteem will most likely produce children who are also confident.

Some sectors however say that genetics does not play a role. Rather, it is the function of chance. Some people are just born to have high self-esteem while others are born with low ranges much like what happens with intelligence quotients.

Some psychologists however argue that most of the development of the self-esteem happens in the environment. Personal experience, parental practices, choice of friends and discovery of talents play a major role in determining just how much self-esteem a person will develop.

Personal experiences come in the form of bullying in school and social group interactions. Children who have experience much bullying in school will develop low self-esteem. The same goes with children who remain on the outside of the social group.

Parental practice and the example that they give can also play a large role in determining the development of the self-esteem. A person for instance who has parents who trusts him to make his own decisions, is not over-protective and treats him like an adult will most likely have high self-esteem compared to children who have parents who coddle him, those who are strict and those who see him so helpless like a child, incapable of making his own decision. It is important then for parents to think about their parental behavior for they will greatly affect how their child will grow up.

The choice of friends and the social group that one belongs to can also cushion and develop the self-esteem. Becoming part of a group that embraces a person’s individual traits and respects their own opinions will help develop the self-esteem. This is rapid contrast to a social group that seeks to put down the person. Social groups can also cushion the person against the threats of outside forces that can destroy or lower the self-esteem.

Cliques can also play a role. Being part of the high school populars, for instance, can strengthens one’s ego compared to being part of the group that is ostracized.

Having a talent or an ability that can stand out from the crowd is also another thing that can boost a person’s self-esteem. If he can offer something that people will admire, his trust and confidence in himself will strengthen. Affirmations, accolades and admirations are great ego boosts to people. This is perhaps why people who have achievements because of their own talents have higher self-esteem than others.

Still, having high self-esteem in one aspect of one’s life does not mean that the high self-esteem will also apply in other sectors. For instance, a person can be ultra confident in one’s school work but become a bumbling idiot when it comes to social interactions and emotional entanglements. There are only a few people who can achieve the right balance of self-esteem in all aspects of life.
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