Wedding Registry Basics

Wedding gifts are intended to be substantial and long-lasting. By putting items on a gift registry, you help narrow the field of choices for your guests. Best of all, registering for gifts means that you will receive items that you really want and, in some cases, really need.

Many couples register as soon as they become engaged. If someone is throwing you an engagement party, register for some items at least one month for that event. Complete your registry no more than four to six months before the wedding; any earlier and some of the items you select may become sold out or discontinued.

You can register at more than one store, but limit yourself to three. At least one of your choices should be accessible to most of your guests: a nationwide department or chain store with many locations, mail order, or a website. If you find items you love at a store that does not have a registry, see if the store will set one up for you.

Another important consideration is the store's level of registry service. Some stores assign a consultant to escort you through the process and offer guidance. Others offer a more hands-off approach, supplying you with a form to fill out or a bar-code scanner so you can browse at your own pace and write down or "zap" the items you select. Once you have completed your wish list, have the store print out a copy of the registry. Check it carefully, including delivery information, to make sure it is complete and accurate. Review it occasionally, checking to see that items you have received are listed as purchased.

Let your immediate family and the wedding party know where you have registered, and have them spread the word to guests. It is inappropriate to print registry information on the wedding invitation, although whoever hosts the wedding shower may include it on those invitations.

Don't fret if you don't get everything you registered for. Some stores have a program that lets you buy remaining items at a discount; other let you keep the registry active so friend and relatives can continue to purchase gifts from it as other joyous occasions arise.

Stocking Your New Home
Your registry is a wish list. In addition to traditional wedding gifts such as china, flatware, glassware, and linens, you can register for small appliances, luggage, camping gear, garden tools, books, and much more. Just be sure to balance expensive items with more affordable ones. When registering, consider the way you live and entertain - if you don't enjoy baking, you probably don't need tart pans in every shape and size, for example. But also think about how your lives might evolve. Even if you don't have room to host large gatherings now, five years from now you might, so it's wise to register for ten to twelve settings of tableware instead of six to eight.

China
It's a good idea to register for two complete sets of dinnerware - one for daily use and casual entertaining, and a set of fine bone china or porcelain for more formal occasions. A standard five-piece place setting includes a dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, cup, and saucer. In addition, request serving bowls in two sizes, a gravy boat, covered dishes and platters of various shapes and sizes, a pitcher, and a coffeepot or teapot. Pasta and soup bowls may be added or substituted if you like. If you're not sure how your tastes will change over time, a simple china pattern in white or ivory, perhaps with a delicate border, is a flexible and elegant choice. Dishes with decorative medallions in the center can make a statement before the food is served or reveal themselves as a pleasant surprise at meal's end. More ornate patterns make a stronger statement.

Flatware
As with china, most couples register for two sets of flatware: dishwasher-safe stainless steel for everyday use, and sterling silver or silver plate for fancy meals. Flatware is solid in five-piece place settings composed of a knife, teaspoon, tablespoon, dinner fork, and salad fork. You might want to register for additional teaspoons and salad forks. That way, you won't have to wash them before serving dessert. Beyond the standard pieces there are fish forks and knives, dessert forks, butter and steak knives, iced-tea spoons, cake servers, ladles, and more. Register for basic serving pieces, as well as others that fit the way you entertain.

Glassware
Crystal (which contains lead) is more brilliant than everyday glass; it is also more durable, making it a good material for decorative cutwork and engraving. Choose two styles of crystal or glass, one for every day and one for special occasions. A basic set of glassware includes tall glasses for water or iced tea, medium-size tumblers, juice glasses, and glasses for white and red wine. For entertaining, add barware according to your anticipated needs: martini and old-fashioned glasses, champagne flutes, snifters, pilsners, and cordials.

Pots & Pans
High-quality, heavyweight cookware with all-metal handles should last a lifetime without warping or denting. If you don't cook often, just register for the workhorses: a two-and-a-half-quart saucepan, either a three-quart covered sauté pan or a four-quart saucepan, an eight-quart stockpot, and an eight- or ten-inch skillet. If you are building a cookware collection from scratch, registering for a matched set can be economical. However, unless a set has exactly what you need, you're better off requesting the pieces individually. The most durable pots and pans are made of nonreactive anodized aluminum or stainless steel with an aluminum or copper core. Nonstick pans are another good choice, as are those made of enameled cast iron.

Bakeware
A surprisingly small selection of pans will see you through most baking tasks. All cooks should own rectangular and square baking pans, the most useful pieces. In addition, register for a jelly-roll or half-sheet pan, two cookie sheets, three round cake pans, and a muffin tin. Consider the materials as well. Aluminum is best for all-around baking because it won't rust or buckle, is relatively inexpensive, and conducts heat beautifully. There is also steel bake ware, which is best when lined with tin, an excellent heat conductor; nonstick, which is great for breads, tarts, and pies; glass, which heats quickly and retains heat well; cast iron; and porcelain. If you love to bake, consider specialty pieces, such as soufflé dishes, tart pans, brioche tins, and ramekins. And don't forget to request a sturdy cooling rack or two, measuring cups and spoons, and a marble or wooden rolling pin.

Cutlery
Good knives are expensive but worth it. They come in a wide variety, but three will get you through most kitchen tasks: a serrated knife (also known as a bread knife) thinly slices not only bread but also any fruits or vegetables with a rind or skin - tomatoes, squashes, citrus fruits, and so on; an eight- or ten-inch chef's knife (also known as a cook's knife) for chopping; and a paring knife, for coring and paring apples, mincing shallots, and doing detailed prep work. A honing steel keeps blades keen between sharpening. A good knife feels balanced and comfortable in your hand. High-carbon stainless steel is the most popular metal for knives. Look for those with full tangs; this means that the metal extends through the handle, for more weight and strength.

Table Linens
In addition to classic white tablecloths, choose colorful or patterned ones in linen or cotton that complement your everyday and formal tableware, as well as tablecloths for the holidays. Fabrics like damask, with a pattern woven into it, and laces are great for special occasions. Make sure the tablecloths will fit the size and shape of your table (round, oval, square, or rectangular). When choosing napkins, consider registering for as many as eighteen per set since they get a lot of use. You might want to choose place mats and table runners as well.

Bed Linens
For the master bedroom, you'll want two mattress pads, three sheet sets (bottom and top sheets, and pillowcases or shams), two pillows for each person, one comforter or duvet (and cover) or one summer and one winter blanket, and one bed skirt. For every guest bed, use the same basic list but substitute one mattress pad, two sets of sheets, and two to four pillows (depending on bed size). Look for sheets with a thread count of at least 200, though 300 or 350 feels more luxurious. As for materials, sheets can be made of linen (the finest), silk, cotton, or a blend of fibers. Bedding comes in standard sizes with minor variations from one manufacturer to the next, notably in the depth of the "box" of a fitted sheet; note the height of your mattress before registering.

Bath Linens
For the master bath, register for at least four sets of towels (each set includes a bath towel, hand towel, and washcloth) plus two bath mats. Oversize towels, also know as bath sheets, are great if you love to wrap up as you dry off. For each guest bathroom, choose two sets of towels, and perhaps fingertip towels for a powder room. Many luxury towels are made of pima cotton, a high-quality American cotton. Egyptian cotton is even softer. Heavy towels are more plus, absorbent, and luxurious. Terry cloth isn't the only option: Waffle-weave towels will provide a vigorous drying off; plush velour invites the user to blot rather than rub water off of the skin.